Blunt Of The Week

Blunt of the week is a new feature we are introducing. It’s based on James Blunt and him being the biggest cunt in the world and convenient rhyme that means we can swear without swearing. Blunt Of The Week is a bit nasty, with absolutely no niceness involved at all, just pure hatred. So you should all love it.

Growing up we were scared on the dark. Now we are scared of The Darkness, because they are shitty cunts of Blunt proportions. And they are back! With a ‘new’ single called ‘One Way Ticket’. Which of course sounds like every glam rock song ever but they hope that it’s been so long no-one will notice. Most sensible people have probably tried to banish the abysmal ‘Permission To Land’ from memory by selling their copy on ebay anyway. So no-one will notice that this offering is not only the same, but just as shit as well.

Justin Hawkins is awarded this week's Title Of Blunt Of The Week. Unlike his Brit Awards though, this is well and truly deserved. Just as we had banished the thought of The Darkness ever returning from our heads, Horsehead Hawkins gave us his rendition of Sparks classic “This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both Of Us” to hear on the radio every five minutes and now, The Darkness are back. God save us all. Avoid like the plague.

Note to Darkness fans: Freddie Mercury is dead, get over it. Not that Justin is even comparable to Freddie. Freddie being a legend and overwhelming live performer, Justin looking and sounding like a horse that has just had his bollocks cut off with a buzzsaw. His arrogance is unbelievable, especially as he has nothing to be arrogant about going by this ludicrous new single.