"I'm Looking For A New Direction..."

As some of you may know, I frequent quite a lot of different messageboards and tend to lurk about on them, like a bad smell. Well, a lot of these messageboards like talking about music so I thought i'd mention what's HAWT on there at the moment, and also a particular track that i'm surprised no-one's arsed about at all.

The two tracks I will talk about are ALSO the supposed "new directions" of both artists. Hence the title of the post.

Everyone won't fucking shut up about:
Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend


Yes, Avril is back and everyone thought she would be all grown up now she's a married woman. But there are varied opinions on her decision to go down the "extremely silly catchy pop" route. Despite having heard rumours that the song, image and silly pink heart and crossbones logo are infact, a joke, I will treat "Girlfriend" as though it is actually Avril's new direction.

Now, some people who didn't listen properly have simply criticised the song for having terrible lyrics.

What I will say to these people is, THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT. There's no point of meaningful lyrics in a song that looks to be this decade's answer to "Hey Mickey" ! It's nonsense and Avril pretty much knows that.

Secondly, I will come back the "Hey Mickey" comparison which feels like it's already been made 42646757432 times on various messageboards, but it has a point! The handclap breakdown, as I like to call it, has got to be one of the most giddy, jig provoking pieces of music for a while.

Either way, this is a TOP POP TUNE. Well done Avril for making something that sounds like... The Pipettes x meaningless teen pop rock. You've only been stuck in my head the whole fucking day... and I didn't mind either! That shows good pop credentials!

And here's the video which is brilliant. I especially like the sudden choreographed dance routine, and the fact that the whole thing looks as if it could've been made by Nickelodeon.


And i'm surprised to see no threads on:-
Arctic Monkeys - Brianstorm


Now, I heard this song properly for the first time today, after getting a download off "THEPLACEWHEREALLMUSICLEAKS". Maybe it's been around a few days and i've just missed the boat or something, but no-one is talking about this song.

I've been round all the boards I frequent and I find not one thread on it. And it's not because no-one has heard it, because even bloody Chris Moyles had it on this very morning (maybe people just... have taste and don't listen to Chris Moyles. The cunt.)

Anyway, from what I hear, it's not actually that different from the Monkey's old stuff, though maybe i'm just surprised because the media hyped their "new style" to death.

Still, it's not a bad tune. And on first listen and sort of vague skimming of the lyrics, it seems to be attacking all those scenester twats or something like that. HURRAH!

Unfortunately, there's no video going about at the moment. But some people have kindly just been putting the songs onto still backgrounds for people like me to embed onto their crappy blogs. So here it is!


And remember folks, comments always appreciated!

The NME Awards = Tragic.

Yes, we haven't posted in FUCKING AGES but that's due to all this "new blogger/old blogger" nonsense stopping me from posting at all. Also see the whole "your browser doesn't allow cookies shite which happens every two seconds. Blogger really is quite shit. So even when I feel like it, and that's not very often, I can't post!

But now, ladies, gentlemen and random visitors who found us whilst looking for porn or somesuch, I will talk to you about what I thought of the NME Awards. "The Rock and Roll Party of the Year", NME call it on their website. I can't believe they're actually trying to pretend it went well.

It had all the cringe of Joss Stone trapsing onto the stage 2 1/2 weeks ago spread across two hours, which made watching like some sort of endurance test.

The whole shambles was presented by poor brave Lauren Laverne who was given some admittedly COMPLETELY SHIT jokes (they should've just gone with a Kenickie reunion. It's the way to go... people.) but may I ask NME, what was the point of getting anyone trying to be funny with THAT crowd? The biggest bunch of stony faced humourless twats one has seen at any awards ceremony EVAR. Seriously, what a bunch of utter cunts. I didn't think you could pack so many into one room. Though when you think about it, great opportunity to get rid of the entire NME at once and start over, but this time, make it good.

There were however, a few decent wins amongst the rot. There were deserved wins for Jamie T, Klaxons and Muse, and in the awards that have fuck all to do with music, Youtube won best website and The Mighty Boosh won best TV show and provided the only vaguely humourous acceptance speech of the entire thing (or at least what I watched of it) with a few silly jokes from Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt's drunken attempt at taking the piss out of Mitchell and Webb's annoying shit of an Apple ad.

There were of course, quite a lot of just WRONG winners and complete nonsense awards as well (though not quite as many as the laughable Q Awards, but at least they aren't televised.) My Chemical Romance, Kasabian and The View among the quite shit and/or unoriginal bands picking up prizes. And then there are the pointless categories such as Best Dressed and Sexiest Woman which I won't even say any more about because they are just so irrelevant.

The performances, to fit in with the whole boring spectacle, were rather joyless and uninteresting. All apart from one. People, I give you, live from what is officially the best website in the world ever because the NME says so, Beth Ditto and Jarvis Cocker performing Heaven 17's Temptation!



So there you have it people! The mess that was the NME Awards 2007. Ugh, at least everyone knows the Brits are shit. The NME Awards are still masquerading about like their slightly cooler cousin. Wankers.

It'll be nice to see any comments from you lot. About the NME, the awards or even just my return.