The NME Awards = Tragic.

Yes, we haven't posted in FUCKING AGES but that's due to all this "new blogger/old blogger" nonsense stopping me from posting at all. Also see the whole "your browser doesn't allow cookies shite which happens every two seconds. Blogger really is quite shit. So even when I feel like it, and that's not very often, I can't post!

But now, ladies, gentlemen and random visitors who found us whilst looking for porn or somesuch, I will talk to you about what I thought of the NME Awards. "The Rock and Roll Party of the Year", NME call it on their website. I can't believe they're actually trying to pretend it went well.

It had all the cringe of Joss Stone trapsing onto the stage 2 1/2 weeks ago spread across two hours, which made watching like some sort of endurance test.

The whole shambles was presented by poor brave Lauren Laverne who was given some admittedly COMPLETELY SHIT jokes (they should've just gone with a Kenickie reunion. It's the way to go... people.) but may I ask NME, what was the point of getting anyone trying to be funny with THAT crowd? The biggest bunch of stony faced humourless twats one has seen at any awards ceremony EVAR. Seriously, what a bunch of utter cunts. I didn't think you could pack so many into one room. Though when you think about it, great opportunity to get rid of the entire NME at once and start over, but this time, make it good.

There were however, a few decent wins amongst the rot. There were deserved wins for Jamie T, Klaxons and Muse, and in the awards that have fuck all to do with music, Youtube won best website and The Mighty Boosh won best TV show and provided the only vaguely humourous acceptance speech of the entire thing (or at least what I watched of it) with a few silly jokes from Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt's drunken attempt at taking the piss out of Mitchell and Webb's annoying shit of an Apple ad.

There were of course, quite a lot of just WRONG winners and complete nonsense awards as well (though not quite as many as the laughable Q Awards, but at least they aren't televised.) My Chemical Romance, Kasabian and The View among the quite shit and/or unoriginal bands picking up prizes. And then there are the pointless categories such as Best Dressed and Sexiest Woman which I won't even say any more about because they are just so irrelevant.

The performances, to fit in with the whole boring spectacle, were rather joyless and uninteresting. All apart from one. People, I give you, live from what is officially the best website in the world ever because the NME says so, Beth Ditto and Jarvis Cocker performing Heaven 17's Temptation!



So there you have it people! The mess that was the NME Awards 2007. Ugh, at least everyone knows the Brits are shit. The NME Awards are still masquerading about like their slightly cooler cousin. Wankers.

It'll be nice to see any comments from you lot. About the NME, the awards or even just my return.