New Releases 7th November 2005

Madonna - Hung Up

IG: Well? What more do you expect us to say of this record?!? We’ve had Pop Boy’s reviews and if you scroll down a little you will see my opinions of Madge’s entire new album! What more do you want from us?!? Anyways, I love it. That’s all I’m saying.

PB: All rise and be upstanding for the Queen Of Pop. And Madonna is more so the Queen Of Pop than ever with this ABBA sampling, discotastic, seemingly flawless splice of mega 21st Century Pop that, if it were an animal would be a very happy gay snake that was slithering all over the dance floor, spinning around aimlessly whilst high on poppers. I really do hope that this acts as a sort of call to arms to music makers all over the world. Pop was alive afterall, it’s just Rachel Stevens and Robbie Williams have had it in a strangle hold. Anyone who says that pop is dead with this meteoric single about to literally blow the whole world up is just stupid! If you haven’t already played the ‘Hung Up’ game, scroll down and make sure you do so.

Son Of Dork - Ticket Outta Loserville

IG: We will review this because a few of you may have discounted it after hearing the band’s extremely crap name ‘Son Of Dork’ and the others who thought ‘Son Of Dork’ was forgivable for may then have not bothered with it when they heard then the rubbish name of the song. But hey, I think you have to give it a chance. The record company’s description of it, well, it is not. (Son of Dork were described as a cross between Busted and Green Day, but seem to end up sounding like neither and more like Bowling For Soup.) But! It is quirky with the occasional little funny lyric here and there and if you love any type of pop punk then you will moderately enjoy this. My main bone to pick though… JAMES! YOU ARE NOT AMERICAN! STOP PRETENDING! Christ on a bike. It just gets on my nerves so much. You are from Southend-On-Sea not San Diego! And most normal high schools here don’t have an American football team with cheerleaders and all of that! Just stop it! I mean… it’s just getting silly.

PB: James Busted said he’d be back. And he is. It’s just a shame he’s forgotten he’s not twelve. It’s also a shame he’s forgotten that he’s not from California. Seriously, James ruined Busted’s entire second album with his faux-Cal whine and here he and his new cohorts still seem to think it’s cool. But underneath the vocals this song is still hideously average, and lyrics are awful (referencing Groundhog Day and Star Trek). It all makes you wonder why we ever thought Busted were so brilliant. Because we did, didn’t we. C’mon own up. Despite being awful and hideous, it’s STILL better than The Chiefs, which must be some kind of consolation I’m sure.

Kaiser Chiefs - Modern Way

IG: This is a nice change from hearing ‘I Predict A Riot’ on the radio every five minutes (it is a fantastic song but god, I was getting so fed up with it) and is one of the better tracks on the album but one problem, it’s a tiny bit low key. I mean, after the manic indie-pop perfection that the Kaisers have previously released this all seems very calm. I’m not saying I don’t like this song, but it really isn’t in keeping with the Kaiser theme. I can imagine everyone getting completely knackered bopping around to all the other “anthems” that the band have released as singles and then playing this and feeling quite bored. Get the album instead of buying the single.

PB: This ladies and gentlemen is what it sounds like when British biggest, most energetic band gets complacent. ‘Modern Way’ just mopes around feeling sorry for itself wishing it were ‘Oh My God’ or ‘I Predict A Riot’. Which from first listen it clearly isn’t. Kaisers have dropped their fun boy music that you can dance to and now it becomes clear just how bad Ricky Wilson really is when all the charisma and broken legged jumps are taken away, both vocally and lyrically. From the bad two thirds of the album ‘Employment’.

Jamiroquai - (Don't) Give Hate A Chance

IG: I can’t decide whether I love or hate this song. It’s so discofied in a good way but there is something about this song that really annoys me. I love the beats so I’m thinking perhaps it’s Jay Kay’s vocals (which I have never been fond of to be honest) but the whole song sounding like a polished version of something from the 70s makes me love it. Gah! This is severely annoying me.

PB: Here’s the third single off Jamiroquai’s recent album ‘Dynamite’, which, on an unrelated is absolute dynamite (ha!) consistent and danceable throughout and a must-have for all pop lovers. Following ‘Feels Just Like It Should’ and ‘Seven Days’ Jay Kay gives us yet another (reasonably) different song. And this one is going to save the world. And you can dance to it. Band Aid can stick that up their arses. And the people in the video look like penises. Band Aid had Justin Hawkins and Busted. Jamiroquai’s new song – officially better than Band Aid.

Best & Worst?
IG: Best - Madge, Worst - Jamiroquai
PB: Best - Madge, Worst - Kaiser Chiefs