Return Of The Wolf.

Yes, i've been away for forever but I 1. couldn't be bothered and 2. Actually have proper work to do almost every night. The nights that I don't are spent sleeping. That's how knackered I am. I've also not really been listening to that much modern music, really. Plus Pop Boy's posts are so fucking huge and full of actual thought-out content that there's hardly a point of me bothering. But anyway...

One of me and Pop Boy's favourite singer songwriters (even though it's mean to throw him in tha category and make him sound like a total Blunt) has returned. Patrick Wolf is, as many of you will know, one of the most interesting solo artists of this decade. His last two albums have combined folk, electronica and various other stylings to provide us with two slices of music brilliance.

And now he's back! His new album, "The Magic Position" is due out sometime in early 2007 (Feburary. Yes, that far away. Though it'll probably be out back even further. Bastards.) and his new single "Accident Emergency" is nothing short of ACE.

It's out next month and the video is currently being shown on NME.com. But because it's the NME and they're rubbish and make you register just to see the only thing you give a flying fuck about on their entire website, i'm going to provide the goods myself. Well not the video, but an mp3! Which is sort of better, because you can listen to it on other things like your big CD player or shiny new iPod, but you don't get to see Patrick clambering about with his nice new red hair. Hmm.*

DOWNLOAD! I apologise in advance to all you high bitrate fiends. The quality is a bit low (128kbps) but it's still listenable and that.

The song sees Patrick drift away from the folksy feel of the last album, "Wind In The Wires" and dabble once again with the electronic sounds of "Lycanthropy." But don't presume this sounds just like another track from that though. A leftover from the first album, no sir! This is lively and anthemic with added horns and electronic nonsense all over it. Catchy as well, which is something you don't usually say for Patrick.

*You can still go and watch the video if you want... I can't stop you. It's on Patrick's artist page.

Back To Basics Review

In the 'Intro' we hear a man say "That's how music should sound". That's generally the point of the album, to make an album full of proper music it's OK to like and if you don't like it you don't music. Christina seems to sneer at her contemporaries and let's the phenomonal success of 'Stripped' go to her head. She thinks she's better than everyone else. With 'Makes Me Wanna Pray', I really want to believe her, as her voice is on top form and the song rocks my socks.

Then with 'Back In the Day' the true cuntiness of Christina's campaign is revealed as she namechecks every soul artist that everybody should like, hoping they can rub off on her. Whilst looking down her nose that her contemporaries who won't embrace an old sound, she sings "when the originators, innovators were alive". Which is ironic, as had she been around when these innovators had been around, she'd've sneered at them and adopted a more traditional sound, just as she is here.

'I Got Trouble' is the song played at the beginning of the 'Ain't No Other Man' video and is probably the most jazz filled soul-tastic moment of indulgence, in the middle of the second disc. I was actually pleased they kept the tinniness and static sound throughout. It adds to the authenicity of the song.

'Still Dirrty' seems to be Christina justifying her actions from the last album. She declares "I still got the dirrty in me", whilst wearing her polished Monroe-esque, blonde look. 'F.U.S.S.' then namechecks her songs from 'Stripped'. I don't know what point she's trying to prove here, perhaps that though her sound has changed, apparently, and she's grown, she's still that same person she was four years ago. She still carries the hurt around. And most importantly, she's still very good at the sex, but now she saves it for her husband. In contrast to the pain of 'Stripped', 'Back To Basics' is a much happier album.

For example lead single 'Ain't No Other Man' and 'Candy Man' are joyful celebrations of life and love and work the soul sound to perfection. 'Ain't No Other Man' has a kick to it, and is a horn-fest (in more ways than one!). 'Candy Man' is debauched Christina being retro to the extreme. This should be a single at some point. It hits every mark, it's sexy, it's retro, it's cool, it's naughty, it uses sweet-analogies and Aggy's vocals are on top form. 'Without You' is also a happy song about being loved up. Let's remember that since 'Stripped' Christina has found love and got married. But rather your typical Christina-let's-have-sex ballad, 'Without You' shows maturity and devotion.

'Understand' swings silkily with a Kanye West style annoying high pitched sample. However, though Christina claims to be going back in the day, 'Understand' and 'Slow Down Baby' really don't sound that far away from what she was doing anyway. Once you see past the pretentious sentiment, the album isn't half bad at all, 'Slow Down Baby' is another slinky number, this time empowered and uptempo.

As if 'Still Dirrty' wasn't enough to convince us that Christina is still dirty, we get an intrusion into her bedroom with 'Naughty Nasty Boy' in which Aggy sings "You want a taste of the sugar below my waist" and "put your icing on my cake". Which is just classy. Horns blast through out making the whole thing even more boudoir-esque. Quite frankly, I feel queasy. And remind me never to bake a cake with Christina.

'Hurt' is the next single. It's the obligatory inspirational, chilling, sensational, tortured ballad which pushes Christina's vocals to the limits. As I said, it's chilling and sensational full of strings and pianoes and pain. 'Save Me From Myself' is equally tortured, and beats 'Hurt', and just about any other Christina song ever, for vocals. Both so growth and progression from 'Beautiful' and 'The Voice Within'.

'Back To Basics' is 22 songs long (that's double 'B'Day') and is spread over two discs. Though two discs seems insane, one of the main complaints of 'Stripped' was that it went on for two long, that being 20 songs long (with interludes). It appears Christina is literally splitting an overly long album into two halves, making it more manageable. That has to be commended. The debate, however, is whether or not 22 songs are needed in the first place...

'Thank You' is amazing if you are one of the fans on it, I'd imagine, and it once again takes Christina back, even further this time, to 'Genie In A Bottle'. But it really could've been left for a bonus edition or re-issue. And surely a real 'Thank You' would be one you wouldn't have to pay for? The intros, 'Intro (Back To Basics)' and 'Enter The Circus' make for a great live show I'm sure, but again, aren't really necessary.

I'd've got rid of 'On Our Way' too. It's very similar melodically to 'Without You' and it's very nothingy. 'Here To Stay' and 'Mercy On Me' are the same. They are both non-entities of songs that we've heard before from Christina, her vocals were on top form, I can't deny her that, but the lyrics are very inspirational and cliche and the songs goes nowhere fast. And 'Mercy On Me' proves once and for all that Jesus should stick to alchemy and keep his nose out of pop music.

I could do without 'The Right Man' too. There's nothing fundamentally wrong with it at all, but at the end of disc 2, I just want the whole thing to end as soon as possible. It's about her marriage but she doesn't sound too pleased about it. Poor Jordan.

'Oh Mother' on Disc 1 is just 'I'm OK' rehashed. Not only is it about her abusive father, but it sounds practically the same. But whereas 'I'm OK' was shunted to the end of a 'Stripped', 'Oh Mother' sits in the middle of the album, drudging along, spoiling the arse-kicking joie de vivre of the rest of the album. Let's hope that the next abusive father song gets left on the cutting room floor.

It's obvious the two discs were used to combat listeners getting tired of a very long album. However next Christina should just use the 13 best tracks and make a short album rather than padding it all out with filler. If she were to do that, she might have a sensational album on her hands, but as she doesn't it's nothing more than "occaissionally promising but ultimately dissappointing". Which is a shame.

Best Songs: 'Ain't No Other Man', 'Candy Man', 'Slow Down Baby', 'Save Me From Myself', 'Hurt'

Question Of The Week...

What do you get if you cross a Portuguese British-Columbian, a Welsh Opera singer and the biggest selling single of the year?

This, that's what...



It shouldn't work, but by jove it does.

FutureSex/LoveSounds Review

With this new album Justin manages to establish himself as a proper rockstar and well and truly brings sexy back. The album oozes sex appeal, charms and sometimes works so hard that it sweats.

Now, it's a common theme in many songs and many albums but I've interpreted that FutureSex/LoveSounds is actually a concept album about the thing JT holds dearest; sex! More precisely, an one night stand... the first glances, the playful whispers, the flirting, the foreplay, the act itself right up to the consequences. Follow me as I try to explain Justin's little rock opera...

FutureSex/LoveSounds - The opening title track is about Justin preparing for the night out. Maybe sinking a few drinks in a bar before he hits the club. Checking out his comeptition and auditioning his horizontal dance partner for the night in his head.
Sexy/Back - Now JT hits the club and turns it on, eyeing up his prey and going in for the kill. "Go your sexy on" chants Timbaland as JT promises a night of S&M and good loving.
Sexy Ladies/Let Me Talk To You - JT now hits the floor and dances in order to lure his prey in. And of course, looking like Justin Timberlake means the floor is filled with sexy ladies for him to take his pick of. Then in 'Let Me Talk To You' we get a prelude to 'My Love' and Timbaland and more of JT's chums take over the narrative of this lad's night out. I assume this means JT is busy saying naughty things we're not supposed to hear or is kissing the ladies.
My Love - This is by far my favourite song on the album, and one the nearest times the album gets to a proper melody. Here Justin turns on the liquid charm and talks the girl into bed. JT isn't just graced with goodlooks - he has a gift of the gab too! Annoying rapper T.I. interrupts this song and almost sabotages it. There is a non-rap version which is lush.
LoveStoned/I Think She Knows... - In 'LoveStoned' JT manages to get his woman, well, stoned, or drunk, let's say high on both the contents of a yellow bottle and his charms. She falls into JT's 'trap'. 'I Think She Knows' is rather instrumental, a slowed down, reversed version of 'LoveStoned' in which Justin admits he's falling for the girl that's falling for him. The tone is less romantic and sexual and sounds more sombre, as if monogamy kills poor JT. JT and his girl leave the nightclub without saying a world.
What Goes Around.../...Comes Around - This is the fifth slash in six songs. Clearly JT likes a slash or two when making an album (guffaw!). This is the song which fits the concept the least, it's placing is definitely questionable. We either assume JT tells of being cheated on by his ex-girlfriend and learns that this lady has a boyfriend of her own. Or! He's singing to his ex-girlfriend, via the phone or some such. Or! This girl is his ex-girlfriend who cheated on him. I'm clutching at straws a bit, you have work with me.
Chop Me Up - Lesson of the day: Three 6 Mafia are rubbish. In this song JT has now got the girl home and is trying to seduce her, trying to make her go all the way. The music is once again slightly sombre, as if JT will die if he doesn't get any sex. Maybe of embarrassment. Timbaland's a man after our own heart. He wants a bit of sex, but first he wants to watch Desperate Housewives episode which he's taped.
Damn Girl - The obligatory Wil.I.Am song. Here, the girl obliges to the proposition put forth in 'Chop Me Up', and things get a bit wild. Spluttering "damn girl" JT is clearly a bit flustered. he can't believe his luck - this girl is going to break his hips. He's "got to put it down tonight" and step up his game. Weirdly, Wil.I.Am is present. Maybe he's filming it? This, much like 'My Love' is one of the few songs on the album that even closely resembles an actual song.
Summerlove/Set The Mood - At the close of 'Damn Girl' they do it. We join them a few weeks down the line, and they are still doing it (I think they stopped in between to eat and that). Despite the reserved feelings in 'LoveStoned', JT and his lady aren't sure if it is true love, but know it's something more than just the dirty ("I can't wait to fall in love with you...This just can't be Summerlove"). But they keep doing the dirty to prove that they love each other ("Do what I gotta do, Just gotta show you that I'm the one"). The whole of the Smmer is in the present tense, so we imagine moths passing as this song goes on. Then in 'Set The Mood', JT erm... sets the mood and gets all deep and profound. There will be sex, but it will be deep, profound sex. Why the sudden depth of charcater I wonder?
Until The End Of Time - JT promises to the girl until, well, the end of time... This is the song people still immature enough to have 'our songs' will have as 'their song'. Kids may well be concieved to this. We just don't know...
Losing My Way - Fast forward 5/10 years. The magic of the relationship is gone. JT is working a lousy job and has kids he never sees ("I'll probably never see the colour of my daughter's eyes"). And JT makes a plea to be saved from his life, as he fails at everything. This acts as a warning to the life of excessive youth and promiscuity.
(Another Song) All Over Again - JT has moaned and groaned, and had his vocals churned and looped throughout the album. So here he sings. Just sings. Showing off his amazing vocals. Showing that for all his conquests, it's his voice that's put him where he is, and will keep him there. This is a song of regret, "let me write another song... start all over again". I can imagine what he's done to ask for forgiveness for. I'm not sure where it fits in in context to the concept to be honest but maybe he wants to go back to 'Until The End Of Time' after boobing up, righting the wrongs that led him to 'Losing My Way'.

No, there isn't really a definite melody to the album, many of the songs are without one. But then, a lot of the songs are not intended to exist outside the album. Like all concept albums, there are songs that can be singles and stand up on their own and songs intended to move the whole thing along. And though the presence of Three 6 Mafia and T.I. do damage the album, it's only minimal scrapes rather than major internal bruising.
Admittedley, the concept doesn't fit perfectly on every track. But that's OK, as no concept album works beginning to end. I'm aware it's not actually a concept album, but it does read like a story.

The album is adventurous and bold. Proverbially, they say the proof of the pudding is in the eating. This pudding is rich, thick, creamy and indulgent. It's full of calories, it's good but it's 'bad'. But in it's indulgent there's a risk it could prove a bit sickly for some. Personally, I'm going for second portions.


Best Songs: 'Sexy/Back', 'My Love', 'LoveStoned/I Think She Knows', '(Another Song) All Over Again'

The Dutchess Review

Fergie's 'The Dutchess' is an album with quite a lot of high expectations. Coming from world beating hip-pop band, Black Eyed Peas who've dominated American music this past year (is there an album Wil.I.Am hasn't featured on this year?) Fergie has a lot to live up to, facing a whole album all on her own.

'Fergalicious' opens the album and is shouted as Fergie's agenda, laying out her plans and telling us what to expect from the rest of the album. The only problem with this song is Wil.I.Am's interference and inability to spell as he shouts, "T to the A to the S-T-E-Y, TASTY".
'The Dutchess' is a very good album and it actually outclasses uber-slick 'B'Day' and 'FutureSex/LoveSounds'. 'Clumsy' is playful and carefree. Rather than letting the pressure drive her psycho as Beyonce did, Fergie appears to have just had a bit of fun. The whole album appears to have a relaxed, gentle feel to it and one imagines throughout that Fergie has her tongue firmly in cheek. With a wink and a smile.
'All That I Got' shows that Fergie does have an actually rather impressive voice, as she slows down and glides like silk through smooth romantic lyrics of sacrifice that somehow avoid being sickly sweet, as they could very easily be.
Beneath the insulting inaccuracies launch single 'London Bridge' is not a bad record in context (that being that it's a hip-hop song and there is a remix of the song that exists featuring King of Shite, 50 Cent) and I'm sure a song with that much innuendo some fans who want a taste salivating.
'Pedestal' carries on nicely 'London Bridge' with the actual traditional nursery rhyme sample: "your pedestal is falling down...". Here Fergie has a lot of attitude and doesn't show much sing as spit the vocal.

Juggling styles with a tremendous amount of ease, Fergie's turns her hand to jazz with the rousing 'Voodoo Doll' which once again, shows a combination of laidback ease and determination ot impress. In 'Mary Jane Shoes', Fergie treads on thin ice, she goes reggae. Going reggae should never be attempted by anyone. Ever. Fergie fairs well though due to some involvement from Rita Marley (though what that involvement is I have no clue). I think this is about drugs, hence the misspelling of Dutchess. It has a brilliant bit at the end of 'Mary Jane Shoes' that is just, wow! 'The Dutchess' is an impressive record that doesn't intimidate (B'Day), alienate (FutureSex/LoveSounds) or disappoint (Back To Basics) its listeners.

'Glamourous' features Ludacris and Fergie goes back to her familiar setting, singing duet with a rapper. But 'Glamourous' could not sound less like a BEP song. Neither could 'Here I Come' which features Wil.I.Am (the Kanal to Fergie's Stefani for sure?). Rather than being immediate songs for the dancefloor like the BEP and Wil.I.Am stuff, Fergie's songs seem more suitable for the after-show.
'Velvet', as the title would suggest, is the sex. Fergie's vocals again take on another level, going from screechy and loud to soft and gentle, gliding and dancing in the ears.

The tradition for all albums is to fill the end of the album with ballads. This applies to 'The Dutchess', though the ballads are anything but filler. 'Velvet' is followed by my favourite on the album, 'Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal)'. 'Big Girls' deals with growing up and is clearly aimed at Fergie's teenage audience, though rather sweetly there's a kind of innocence and reluctance to grow up that's a little bit lost on my generation I feel. 'Big Girls Don't Cry' sympathesises and understands that sometimes it's OK to cry, and says that there's nothing wrong with that.
If 'Big Girls' was the anthem to inspire, 'Losing My Ground' is the anthem to depress. Here it finds a grown-up Fergie of 'Big Girls' and finds herself lost and alone. Then it becomes clear that Big Girls Don't Cry, or more can't. This is song to give up to. 'Finally' sees Fergie transformed back to a six year old dreaming of a Cinderella fairytale, once again giving inspiration back to the deflated Fergie of 'Losing My Ground'.

The past few tracks have been quiet and low-key so Fergie needs to end in true Peas style with a lively one, don't you reckon? Well, that's just happens with 'Get Your Hands Up'. Wil.I.Am and Apl D of the Black Eyed Peas feature in it more than Fergie, and it's slightly contrived and neanderthal, but it's a hell of a lot of fun.

I have to say, I wasn't expecting a great deal from this album but it has fought it's way to the top of the pile as one of 2006's stronger albums, without doubt. Fifteen tracks long, not a single duffer, not a second too long, and still slots some nice bonus tracks on the end too. Buy it. Download it. Just make sure you hear it.

Best songs: 'Clumsy', 'Voodoo Doll', 'Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal)', 'Mary Jane Shoes'

Paris Review

Paris is the girl it's OK to download. Afterall, it's not as if she needs the money. But don't download her, buy it and make a rich girl richer. The heiress whose tried everything and championed nothing. Now, Paris Hilton gets a lot of unnecessary shit. My standing on her is she's the embodiment of what used to be the American Dream, the manifestation of 'success' in the western world. Which is why I find it hard to understand why she gets so much shit. Criticising Paris is just criticising the entire western world. She shoudl be your idol, she's everything we've been told to idolise: who needs personality when you've got money and success? I'm not saying she's not vacuous, I'm just saying she's no more vacuous than we made her. There we go, my political rant over, let's review the album...

I feel a bit sorry for Ol' Pazza as I do admire her, and a significant chunk of her album is amazing (no, really). Unfortunately lead single 'Stars Are Blind' with it's UB40 sample is not only the worst song on the album, but it's also one of the worst songs of the year. As a result, many people may dismiss her and not give her a chance. What's worse, 'Turn It Up', the album opener, trudges tirelessly along and never becomes the it promises. Then we get 'Fighting Over Me' which features Fat Joe and Jadakiss (who I think were desperate to collaborate with Paris, she reluctnatly accepted). In this song, the 'theme' (two rappers arguing over one girl) shows promise, but once again Paris falls flat on her arse. And unlike Beyonce, when Paris' songs fall on their arse, she hasn't got the voice to save them.

Four tracks in however, we stumble upon one of the finest pop moments of the year, 'I Want You'. It samples the Grease theme, which is a master stroke all of it's own but it also has a killer chorus, handclaps and Paris' voice is squished through the machine enough times to suit the song. Next up is 'Jealousy'. I apologise, but I don't follow the gossip columns, but is this about Nicole Ritchie? Did they fall out? Should I care? 'Jealousy' is such a Paris song, suiting her much more than many of her other songs, as only someone as vacuous and self-centred as Paris could ever sing this. And once again, the chorus is killer.

'Nothing In This World' is another of pop's finer moments too, sounding very much like a Kelly Clarkson (with significant difference in vocal range). The "da, da, da, da, da, da, da" bits are gneius, and will stay with you forever and follow you around. 'Screwed' is impossible to get out of your head. I'm glad this ended up on the album, because even though it's been leaked on the internet since 1852, it's still a top-class pop song. It has an irresistible kick and bounce to it. And it has the greatest middle eight in the history of pop too. FACT! There's at all wrong with 'Heartbeat' either. It's a bit slow, but it's utterly charming. Shame that Paris' struggling vocals can't quite pull it off.

'I'm Not Leaving Without You' is the sort of track I was expecting from Paris. Dancepop with a nudge, a wink and a "come get me" smile. It sounds like 'I Feel Love' in a blender with the Dixie Chicks being sung by a drunken, oversexed socialite. This was what I was expecting, and an album full of this would've been no bad thing.

Then the album is bookended by Paris' cover of Rod Stewart's 'Do You Think I'm Sexy?'. The song is about as sexy as my granddad's speedos I'm afraid. I assume it's ironic, or supposed to be, but then when as irony ever been an excuse for being shit?

I really wanted this album to shut people up and be brilliant as it'd be one in the eye for culture pretentiousness. Essentially, Paris is great album. It has some belting songs that if sung by someone with more credibility and a stronger voice, would rule the world and be number ones the world over. But this is Paris Hilton, who wouldn't know self-awareness or subtlety if it slapped her in the face.

As a result she tries too much and gets confused as to the sound she wants. 'Fighting Over Me' and 'Stars Are Blind' are obviously meant for a 'cooler' R&B market, 'Screwed' and 'I'm Not Leaving Without You' are dance stormers and 'I Want You' is unadulterated pure pop. The album, and Paris herself, are confused and unsure, never quite deciding one a specific direction or sound that leaves the whole album sounding, forgive me, higgledy piggledy. Which is a shame, as a couple of storming songs end up getting wasted on a flat, fumbling album.


Best Songs: 'I Want You', 'Screwed', 'Nothing In This World'

B'Day Review

This is the first of six reviews of American pop titans. Coming soon are Paris, Fergie, Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera and Jessica Simpson. But first, to the Queen of R&B-sub-pop, Beyonce. 'B'Day' is the follow up to 2003's dissappointing 'Dangerously In Love'. 'B'Day' needed to be brilliant to justify Beyonce's hype and status in America. 'B'Day' was produced and put together in just two weeks. I can't help thinking that this is Ms Knowles anticipating making the excuse "sorry, it's not very good, but it's not bad for two weeks, eh?". Fortunately she needn't make excuses for this album, well, the first half at least.

First single 'Deja Vu' has been all over the place over the last month and is a duet with Jay-Z, with whom she's previously released her smash 'Crazy In Love' and '03 Bonnie & Clyde'. Jay-Z also makes an pops up on 'Upgrade U' which might be decent if it wasn't so smug and self-satisified. I always get the impression that Beyonce has some mental health problems that cause her to scream like a banshee mid-song, but as this album goes on to prove, these are her finest moments. In 'Deja Vu' she's possibly her most mental yet, with her insanity and infatuation growing as the song develops. She's moderately sedated in 'Get Me Bodied' which brings her sound closer to classic, sassy pop. Once again though, spazzy booty shaking dancing is required. 'Suga Mama' is awesome, containing brilliant lyrics carrying a very retro sub-jazz-pop sound that is similar to Christina's 'Ain't No Other Man', calling on horns and guitar lashes. 'Upgrade U' has an erratic beat that bounces around jovially with the occaissional whistle but all in all at this point Beyonce seems to have clamed down a bit...

It's all just the calm before the storm however as we meet 'Ring The Alarm', by far Beyonce's best work yet, and a total schizophrenci, paranoid, bunny-boiling mind-fuck. The record doesn't quite do justice to the live performances of this song. The same is true for 'Green Light' which, live, is a scream filled fun-fest to shake your booty to but on the record is really tame. Perhaps they exist purely to be performed.

Excluding 'Freakum Dress', the final chapter to Beyonce's trilogy of insanity, a total maneating fest, the second half of the album is a lame duck. 'Kitty Kat' is squished between 'Ring The Alarm' and 'Freakum Dress', perhaps as a kind of neutraliser, whatever it's purpose, it's submissive and tame. The album is finished with 'Irreplaceable' and 'Resentment', which is a Victoria Beckham cover, which are slow, languid R&B dross that really cancel out the brilliance of the earlier songs. The latter half of the album reeks of two weeks work. Infact, it doesn't sound like two hours was spent on 'Irreplaceable'.

I can't help but think that this album would be much better if Beyonce had laid off the Ritalin and continued her crazy spazziness to the end. Still, there are some very good songs on the album, even if there are some very bad ones. Having five duffers on a fifteen track album might be excusable, but to have five duffers on a ten track album smacks of lack of effort.


Best Songs: 'Deja Vu', 'Ring The Alarm', 'Freakum Dress'

Something Kinda New!

Yes! I'm a genius!

So, the new Girls Aloud single is very good isn't it?

Much more instant for me than a lot of their previous stuff. Sounding like 'The Show', 'Wake Me Up' and 'Waiting' put in a blender with C&C Music Factory's 'Gonna Make You Sweat' (which is sampled/stolen in the intro).

In fairness, it's none to similar to any Girls Aloud song before, which is weird, because it has 'Girls Aloud' stamped all over it. A definite change of direction from the singles from 'Chemistry', perhaps dampening any rumours that the release of the Greatest Hits signals the end.

The C&C Music Factory sound and the fact that the whole chorus rhymes with "oooh" gives the song a very old-skool, 90s-ish feel. It has a very generic dance-pop feel to it, but of course, this is Girls Aloud, so it's never generic, as they are bloody geniuses. I can imagine this getting played lots in club land though, it's their most dancey and accessible single by far.

Anyway, let's not beat around the bush. Here's a very tinney bad quality rip I did. You'll have to crank the bass up as well because it's quite quiet. But you should get the general gist of it...

Something Kinda Oooh!

Easy Money!

This is Pete from BB's bands MySpace, Daddy Fantastic. I don't even need to comment, just click the link and let the music speak for itself. Pete could well be the next Nichola Holt...

You can also hear a clip of Spiral's 'Finglas' on YouTube. I pray for Dublin that this isn't their 'response' to 'LDN'. Then there's 'So Sexy', which was on BBLB. Watch out Eminem!

New My Chemical Romance Song Verdict: Actually Really Good

No really.

Panic! At The Disco and, to a lesser extent, Fall Out Boy proved earlier this year that the line between pop and emo is a very thin one indeed. Infact, the same people who are emos now wanted to be Hannah or Jon from S Club 7 seven years ago. I wouldn't be surprised if Brendan Urie had such aspirations. It's all very reactionary and everything.

But here come My Chemical Romance with a 'new look', which means Gerard Way has had a haircut, a 'new sound', which actually is quite new, well the one new song is. 'Welcome To The Black Parade' starts off sounding as if it's a Rufus Wainwright song (yes - Rufus!) then goes into Queen, then goes back to their familiar emo style, then back to Queen again.

Of course, it still sounds like them. There are the perfunctory emo screams and drums-o-rama and the trademark MCR sound. A good deal of the lure of emo music is the o-t-t theatrics and imagery, which is why I'm not afraid to make bold Rufus comparisons, as his charm is very much the same, but here the sound and theatrics seem to be being read from the same songbook. The lyrics ("one day I'll leave you a phantom to lead in the summer to join the black parade") are typically theatrical and dark (I refuse to say gothic for fear Poe will spin in his grave), and, in true MCR are anthemic enough to have emo-kids across the world rising up and 'dancing' and toying with sub-suicidal-metaphors.

But the guitars sweeping underneath the craziness sound as powerful and lingering as those of Queen, so after they've cried the mascara from their eyes the emo kids might want to don a glittery catsuit and grow a moustache (that's one fashion accessory the emo girls can't pioneer!). Or at least they might start to consider wearing something other than black.

Also: Is there anyone out there who likes My Chemical Romance whose older than me? I mean, do thirty-somethings like it and that?