Blunt Of The Week/Month/Year

It was inevitable. Really. I'm sure you've seen it coming. But the worst thing that could possibly have happened, has happened. A female Blunt has unleashed herself, with a song that may actually be worse than 'You're Beautiful' and possibly even worse than 'Goodbye My Lover' (I know, it's quite an achievement).

Step forward, Sandi Thom...



I touched on the whole punk rocker thing in my last post, which was supposed to be about Muse but ended up a venomous tirade (as is always the way). But I won't mention the ludricousness of the lyrics much. This time I'll do more of a character assassination.

First of all, she's spelt her name wrong hasn't she, the twonk? Sandi with an I? Does the girl know nothing about the power of the Y? I just don't believe her parents would give anyone the name Sandi with an I (unless they were punishing her for the crap music they thought she'd go on to make) which indicates to me that she's changed it deliberately in order to be 'cool'. Which makes her a cunt.

Her surname can't be helped really, but it is a bit cunty. Afterall, the person I can think of that spells Tom like that is Mr Yorke of Radiohead. And Radiohead are the biggest blunts in the whole world. I got round to thinking, maybe Sandi came to be such a bad musician becasue she wanted to inflicted pain on the world after suffering with such a crappy name for so long.

No, I haven't heard the album (because basically I'd rather chew on barbed wire) but I don't need to to know that it's a big pile of shite. Looking at the song titles it seems that the general patronisingly-nostalgic theme of 'Punk Rocker' is continued. For example, a song called 'When Horsepower Meant What It Said' is just the most cunty title I've ever seen, and I dare say she's trying to compete with the songtitles of Panic! At The Disco, in which case she has failed.

The title 'What If I'm Right' is just too smug and faux-forward thinking. In fact, the whole thing is faux-forward thinking. It likes to pretend that it likes to be forward thinking and being different and original ("she was signed after sell-out webcam concerts from her basement") but has no desire to actually change anything because, in truth, she's run by a group of middle aged men who remember the 1970s first time around who've made themselves very rich through abusing the system that they get Sandi to sing against. And the record itself is bought by these exact same people, the people who dressed in punks in the 70s then wore suits in the 80s and drank Coca Cola and ate McDonalds and made the world into a business.

Basically, the point I'm trying to make is that Sandi Thom is pretty much a musical prostitute. Pimped out by middle-aged men who are feigning an interest in her as they dress her as a harlot that will sell for big money before being sold onto the same middle aged men in mid-life crisis desperate for some bubbly young thing to have so that they can look young and cool and not as old as they are.

So all rise and throw rotten fruit at Sandi Thom, harlot of the airways, blunt of the week.