Indie Girl Does Franz Ferdinand

Last Wednesday, Indie Girl took a little trip over to Glasgow to see some band, Franz Ferdinand I think they were called. Yes, that was it. And I was there along with another 9,499 crazed fans.

Firstly, the night in numbers…

3: Number of times I was covered in beer,
3: Number of official Franz Ferdinand snap bracelets bought.
4: Number of Franz badges that I purchased
2: Number of Support acts that went on far too long
2: Number of cups of Irn Bru purchased during the support acts
2: Number of times I was almost deafened
2: Number of times I shouted “BOB!”
17: Number of songs played (I think…)
3: Number of hours spent in the hall before Franz actually came on.
2: Number of band members that climbed onto the speaker and gave me a fabulous photo! (maybe, we'll have to see when they get developed)

Now I will give the night in highlights and lowlights...

Highlights:

• The people around me. They didn’t jump around at all, most of them were just mothers with their children who dragged them away before the encore. And a couple who snogged during fast songs.. whatever. They didn't annoy me that much.
• The amazing reception to Do You Want To! It was the stomper and it was only played second, I found myself shouting along.
• Matinee being played after Do You Want To, I was on a high after those two songs. The crowd went mad. Just pure mad! (in a good way)
• The stage set was amazing, the big screen behind the band was really cool
• The fact that I am 5ft3 and I could still see through almost the entire show! Amazing!
• The amazing high I experienced during the concert. So exhilarating and fun. I wonder if drugs are that good?

Lowlights:

• The support acts. They were on for so bloody long! The Rakes are alright but not next to a speaker. Me and my friend had to do for chips and an irn bru during Editors.
• Franz weren’t on until ten after two long hours of supports and general waiting.
• The horrid low I experienced during the supports. I just wanted to go home.
• The fact that I had an exam the next day. Boo!

And a few other notes, never wear a scarf in a hot hall during an entire gig. It’s quite a bad idea. And! Bob Hardy! My new favourite member for no particular reason at all, I even started to write a song but didn’t get very far.

Here it is anyway:
I love Bob! He is ace!
I love Bob! He plays bass! Rah!

Blasting On Pop Boy's Stereo This Week

The Sunshine Underground - Put You In Your Place
The Sunshine Underground are ace. The drummer (Matt) is my step-dad's nephew (I think) and was his apprentice once or something (it's hazy, unexplained area), but nevertheless, this is a little bit of nepotism or something on my part. And they are from rock and roll capital of the world, Shropshire (home of them and me, the place where Pete Doherty was arrested, playing host to Alexis Strum on Tuesday!). Anyway, this song is indie-pop you can dance and flail your arms rhythmically to (and I am!) at it's best. The sound is familiar, but in a good way, they are on a par with the big players in indie music (possibly more specifically The Cribs, as Sunshine Underground are from the Leeds scene) . The melody is wonderful, and the chorus is magnificent. Visit them on myspace and listen to this track and 'Commercial Breakdown' then tell everyone you know about them and dance lots.

Rufus Has Sold Out!

Why oh why Rufus? He's only gone and re-released his last two albums on one package and bunged four new(ish) songs on the back of the 2-Disc love affair. Although, I'll admit, rather a spiffy idea, it's a bit of a kick in the teeth for people who cared enough about him to buy both of his albums the first time round really.

What happened to you Rufus man, you used to be cool?

Oh course, if this means he's going to raise his game for the next studio album then fucking bring it on.

New Releases 21st November 2005

This week the singles releases are all a big pile of shite. So it’s very whistle stop, one listen and that’s it stuff, so don’t expect us to go in-depth.

Goldie Lookin' Chain - R&B
IG: Aren’t Goldie Lookin' Chain just a really bad joke that has went on far too long?

They’ve just released two albums of novelty records which shouldn’t be gaining the extensive airplay that they do. All they really achieve with this record is sounding like either Another Level (Remember them? You don’t? Oh…) or Blazin Squad when they go soppy.

Ugh. Stop buying their records people! Maybe Anne Robinson was right about the welsh…?!?*

*I don’t actually agree with Anne, but if Goldie Lookin’ Chain were to disappear I wouldn’t be heartbroken.

PB: I’m not sure what this is. I first heard this on Radio 1 and felt a little bit sick, this is playlisted and Alexis Strum is overlooked? I think this is supposed to be a parody. But then, is it a parody of boybands or of R&B music? And aren’t parodies supposed to be happy. This is just painful. It’s so offensive it makes me want to travel west with a pitchfork and wage war on the Welsh. It’s good to see Lisa from Hollyoaks got her big break though isn’t it? Although, making a deliberately awful R&B record is much better I suppose then making an undeliberately awful one. Which brings us to 50 Cent…

50 Cent - Window Shopper
PB: 50 Cent is on the Now Playing List on my Media Player. I never thought that day would come. This, surprisingly, doesn’t sound EXACTLY like the rest of his dross, but it’s just a different type of dross. Like being kicked in the crotch instead of the mouth, a change, but by no means refreshing. I don’t know what this song is about but I imagine it’s something like this: “I’m dead ‘ard me, I can buy me hoes expensive things. And you haterz can’t. So I’m better than you. And my cock is huge.”

IG: Bleugh. Just having this in my computer makes me want to take a bloody good shower.

Well, what can I say? It’s 50 fucking Cent. The crappest of all the “crap rap” out there. He’s like the Dido of the rap world. It’s like every song he releases is the same one with a different name. The man can’t even rap, just mumble bile about the hood and the hoes. It’s also quite bad that my realplayer actually got an error and the same bit of the song was played over and over again. Did I notice? Guess.

Meh. It’s 50 Cent. Just stay well clear and if you dare go near be sure to disinfect yourselves afterwards.

Tom Novy - Your Body
IG: This track really deeply bores me to be honest. The lyrics are repetitive and not in a good way, it’s a uninteresting style of music and I got sick of it around a minute in which for this week’s selection/pile of crap.

Sorry Tom, just reminds me of really bad, boring dance/pop that just doesn’t interest me whatsoever. I also don’t understand the point made by Pop Boy about being able to dance around to this.

Tap your feet, maybe…

PB: In a stagnant pool of sewage, this is the one polished turd floating to the top. It’s not groundbreaking. It’s not earth shaking. Yes, I have probably heard thousands of records just like this, but (and this is the clinger and possible reason for this record’s momentum) you can dance to it, and the goose is getting fat so lots of people want to get up and dance to songs and snog each other. And why shouldn’t they do it to this fit-to-specification stomper? Also (and again quite a clinger) one of the dancer boys on Popworld was fit as!

Gorillaz - Dirty Harry
PB: A sudden fall from grace from Gorillaz who’ve provided us with ‘Feel Good Inc’ and ‘DARE’, arguably two of the biggest songs of 2005. Much like Goldie Lookin’ Chain’s effort, this song just leaves me questioning just what is being attempted. It’s largely instrumental, with pretty-but-boring twinkly keyboards, a rubbish cameo form a non-entity all interrupted by a children singing “All Of Yous Is Dead”. Maybe this is what drugs is like?

IG: Groan, still, yes but still my favourite of the week when I have to pick one. Which is strange because this song has been annoying me everywhere I go without knowing who the artist is or what the song is called.

And it was used on an advert for Radio 1 which bugs me no end, as Radio 1 really gets on my nerves.

The bit with the kids singing is good, great beat, draws you in somewhat until it spits you back out again with a tiresome “rap” which puts me off the song completely. The song was good enough as it was, there was no point ruining. I guess they had to stick it in because the first bit, despite being good is all very samey. I think this shows that the song does not have enough to be a winner in my book.



Best & Worst?
IG: Best - Gorillaz, Worst - 50 Cent
And because Pop Boy forgot to send me his best and worst this week I will predict by looking at his reviews...
PB: Best - Tom Novy, Worst - 50 Cent

And remember, just because we say they're the best ones doesn't mean we think you should go out and buy them. I think this week is definately one to miss. Save your money! Your mum might want a present for Christmas or something. But if you're so desperate to get singles, Pop Boy advises just to buy 'Hung Up' again.

Poptacular Trainers!/T-shirts!/Mugs!/Plates!

Right now, on the site that brought you an Ana Matronic wristband... you can vote for many items designed by celebrities.

Ok, some of them are by really rubbish celebrities (someone from Misteeq and the ginger one who married Prince Andrew) but there are some really class designs from people in the world of music. Franz Ferdinand, Kaiser Chiefs, and you can expect how giddy I got when I heard about the prospect of owning a pair of Scissor Sisters trainers.

So please vote and then you can own some of these spiffing items.

http://www.whateverittakes.org/votingGallery.php?leader=

(Note to readers: Indie Girl would really appreciate it is you did venture to the Scissor Sisters section... remember kids, another 993 votes gets me a pair of trainers designed by Ana Matronic.)

Blunt Of The Week

This week, as you may have noticed. There was a little thing on itv about a group who had a few wee hits back in the good ol’ 90s. I think they were called Take That or something. Yeah, that was it. Take That.

Most of the group seem alright. The wee lad is still very sweet, then the one who wrote the songs seemed ok despite his clearly awful taste in décor. The other two were a bit simple but they meant well. One took us through the desperate times (sleeping with Lulu) whilst the other one was still checking that everyone was alright for nibbles.

There was one though, name escapes me, that came across as a right smug old git. Bit selfish and rude. What was his name? Oh, that’s right. It’s Robbie. It’s the UK’s “number one solo artist.”

Pfft.

Robbie “I’m too good for a reunion” Williams. You think he could’ve tried to try and not come across as a complete tosser but noooo… he just can’t manage. Maybe it’s because he’s always one. Yes, yes it is.

Selfish. Arrogant. And the fact that everytime he spoke it he was thinking that we should all be so honoured to hear him speak about his Take That days. Despite the fact that he would not be famous at all if it wasn’t for Take That because he’s so mediocre compared to the hype surrounding him it’s practically unbelievable.

Oh, and Tripping was such drivel. Part of the vid was nicked from Gwen and the song was just, crap. So meh. Up yours Robbie! You’re “Blunt Of The Week!”

Hurts, doesn’t it?

New Releases 14th November

Now, we realise we are a bit late this week, and we apologise. But we thank you all for of course rescheduling your singles buying day until you had heard our opinions.

The Darkness – One Way Ticket
IG: Well, what can we really say? It’s The Darkness. It’s Justin Hawkins. It’s inevitably, a pile of old poo. The Darkness once again deliver for their fan base that think this style of rock is still alive when it’s clearly dying on it’s arse if all it has to depend on is The Darkness. I also refuse to call The Darkness “glam rock.”
If you want some proper “glam rock”, look no further than T-Rex. I just cannot be done with this sort of bile.
Justin, just piss off! Will you? Get a one way ticket to Hell… and just stay there.

PB: Former blunt of the week and all round failure at life, Justin Hawkins is back with another novelty Christmas single (because he can’t be serious? Can he?). But, fortunately for the human rights people against torture, it seems his bilious ‘music’ (and I use the term loosely) is becoming even more tired and miserable and he’s had to resort to slagging off other (slightly less worse) rock stars to sell records.
He’s become every rubbish rock star ever made what seems like the longest flash in the pan in history. Reminding people why the Scissor Sisters are so brilliant. Let’s hammer the nails in the coffin right this second.

Girls Aloud – Biology
PB: The ever-so brilliant second single from the surely ever-so brilliant (and as unheard by Pop Boy) third album ‘Chemistry’ from the ever-so brilliant Girls Aloud, lifting the torch high for pop. Well, a bit. ‘Biology’ builds on ‘Long Hot Summer’ that, although not a classic, wasn’t really that bad was it? Well, even if it was, ‘Biology’ is a lot more danceable and has much better lyrics. And it has two choruses! So it’s very much a return to form.
However, this Girls Aloud fan, like so many others, is crying out for the third album to deliver a nice big moody pop stomper and return Girls Aloud to the pop-punk arse-kicking band ‘Sound Of The Underground’ and ‘No Good Advice’ promised they’d be. We (I) want to see some proper attitude, drunkenness, fighting and causing mothers to lock up their sons, not glossy, over rehearsed cushy paint-by-numbers interviews. Throwing pies at Stephen Mulhern is a start.
Nice cover art though, and it’s nice to know that Girls Aloud on a ‘just above average’ day can still blow every other every single released this week out of the water.

IG: I don’t particularly know what this song has to do with an incredibly boring school subject but The Aloud’s attempt at modern motown (as I call it) is pretty damn good.
It’s sexy and classy and the main hook is 100% poptastic. I also happen to think the video is bloody spiffing (especially the wardrobe.)
This is also one of my favourite single releases from Girls Aloud. It’s good to see yet another act doing so well after coming out of the dismal “Popstars: The Rivals”.

Green Day – Jesus Of Suburbia
IG: Jesus Of Suburbia is the epic nine minute long single release from Green Day and in fact my favourite track from the highly praised American Idiot. I feel that only this and the title track of the album really live up to the fantastic reviews .
It does go on a bit but it’s one of those songs that can hold your attention.
From the pulsing guitars to the heartfelt vocals. This track leaps through many an emotion which is the perfect cocktail for teenage angst.

PB: Maybe I’m out of touch with the 'yoof but I’ve never got Greenday. Yes, ‘Basket Case’ and ‘American Idiot’ are pretty ace, but I’ve never understood how they can’t cause quite so much excitement. But then again, I’m sure Greenday fans would struggle to see the blaringly obvious social and cultural importance of Girls Aloud and their music. So it’s all subjective.
This song gains brownie points merely for the epic-ness of a 9 minute long song, that hasn’t bored or annoyed me by the time it’s ended, even though after five minutes it turns into a totally different, much softer song, which is sort cheating. It would seem this is very much a call to arms to the fans to start a revolution against the boring and mainstream, and so it should be. The guitars, drums and vocals on this song are all fantastic and blend really well together, and I almost very nearly want to dance, or jump around semi-rhythmically! But not quite. A very close third.

Will Young – Switch It On
PB: I reviewed this song for Whatever’s Left, and to spare me writing the whole damned thing again and trying not repeat myself I think you should just click on the link and read it from there. But do come back. I am very lazy. Sorry.

IG: Hurrah! Mr Young is back. And he’s back with a bang. Sexy, tongue-in-cheek video and a fantastic, poptacular tune. It even goes a wee bit electro just before the chorus which makes it almost an instant hit with me. Though I wouldn’t love it quite as much if it wasn’t as brilliant as it is.
This is a brilliant return from Will and this is definitely one of my favourite singles of Will’s.Who’d have thought that lovely William Young would:

1. Actually still be going after all this time after winning an ITV talent competition.
2. Be all sexy and daring!

Best & Worst?
PB: Best - Girls Aloud, Worst - The Darkness
IG: Best - Will Young, Worst - The Darkness

The Hall Of The Not So Famous (part 2)

Inductee Number Two - t.A.T.u

It’s hard to say something about t.A.T.u that hasn’t already been said before, but one thing is for sure, this (and any) hall of fame would be a little bit duller and seem a little bit quieter without these two girls. Would’ve thought that two girls from Moscow would take over the world and cause so much controversy just by playing on male fantasies so unashamedley? Ivan Shapovalov did.

Shapovalov was the brain child behind t.A.T.u. He picked out 14 year old Lena Katina from a casting to sing a song about the Yugoslavian conflicts and later formed a duo with Julia Volkova, who knew Lena from a children’s chorus, Neposedi, which they had both been members of. However, Julia had been allegedly expelled for inappropriate behaviour such as smoking, swearing and drinking. When Julia left, Lena soon followed. It was this attitude and companionship that would rocket t.A.T.u. into outer space (or the ‘Cosmos’).

It was pop classic ‘All the Things She Said’ (‘Ya Soshla S Uma’) that launched t.A.T.u. face first, scratching and biting into the world’s view. The song was released in Russia before being re-produced by Trevor Horn and sent global. The video saw the girls in catholic school girl uniforms, seemingly imprisoned, snogging lesbian style in the rain. The video (and in fact, the song) is most well known for the snog, yet people paying close attention would’ve noticed that they walk off hand in hand at the end, meaning that the disapproving adults watching them through the fence are the ones imprisoned. In their own minds! So for every Judy Finnagin snarling and demanding it be banned, there was an ever so subtle back bite. The censorship and parental scolding allowed t.A.T.u. to snowball into an uber-cool group for kids to idolise (because as David Bowie once said “The reason rock and roll is so successful is because it isn’t school” or something) and the band blew up. Big time.

‘All The Things She Said’ is an amazing song, which is unequalled in screamy, pop-rock brilliance. But it needn’t have been. With the controversy caused by a kiss (in the 21^st century, which does beg the question as to just how much we’ve moved on from the dark ages) the girls needn’t have been singing at all to make whatever song they were promoting successful. However, it was the brilliance and addictiveness of the chorus that made a potentially good band with a good gimmick become a world straddling super-duo with an amazingly effective gimmick.

The girls followed this up with ‘Not Gonna Get Us’ (‘Nas Ne Dagoniat’) a simple, screamy, thumping dance song that once again played on rebellion and being out of the ordinary. This, rather loud and high pitched, voice of the ‘others’ struck a cord with fans and they lapped up there debut album ‘200Km/h In The Wrong Lane’ (‘200 Po Strechnoi’). In fact five million people worldwide lapped it up.

And upon one listening you can see why. Not only do the two singles sound just as vitriolic, but ‘Show Me Love’ craves angrily and longingly, ’30 Minutes’ wraps itself up in an indulgent-yet-secret love affair and ‘Malchik Gai’, which will make even the coldest heart want to dance and documents a girl’s love for a gay guy and all the songs (although they are only eight) hit the right spot everytime. And that’s not even mentioning the cover of 'How Soon Is Now?’and the Russian version with insomniac genius ‘Doschitai Da Sta’ and the hypnotising ‘Ya Tvoi Vrag’ (‘I’m Your Enemy’).

The second album ‘Dangerous & Moving’ (‘Lyundi Invalidi’) is less consistent in it’s appeal, but is considerably longer and has songs written by Dave Stewart of the Eurhythmics and The Veronicas. Highlights include ‘Nich Ya’ (from the Russian version) which chills and twin sisters ‘Novaya Model’ and ‘Perfect Enemy’ which both show evidence of the girls growing up and growing into a new style. ‘Loves Me Not’ is a stunning, rip-roaring return to form. The girls have done it again. And expect them to do it again, as there's at least three more albums to come from them yet.

Although you may not understand a single word, one can slip on ‘Lyundi Invalidi’ or ‘200 Po Strechnoi’ and lose yourself and allow yourself to be overwhelmed by an epic wall of wonderful, screamy, angsty music. This ability to produce not one, but two brilliant albums that span the language barrier without even so much as a raised eyebrow must be rewarded by a placing in our hall of fame.

Download t.A.T.us amazing single released only in Russia and never put on an album, 'Prostiye Dvizheniya' ('Simple Movements') the video of which sees Julia giving herself the finger in the bath.

The Hall Of The Not So Famous

Channel 4 are currently on doing their Music Hall Of Fame and seem to think it's 'definitive' just because they're using factual evidence like record sales to base it on. Well, fuck them all. Indie Girl and Pop Boy are making our own Hall Of Fame, based purely on opinion. OUR opinion. Because we are betterer and smarterer than everybody else. Ever. So there.

Our Hall Of Fame doesn't contain unlistenable, over-rated dross like Eminem or Radiohead, or old men who used to be moderately cool and rebellious like Rolling Stones and The Beatles and Bob Marley who would all be far too predictable and boring. It certainly does not contain U2, Robbie Williams or Oasis, because they were never good or particularly relevant to any kind of music culture we want to be part of.

Inductee Number 1 - Richard X

Richard X hasn't been around for very long, only first making people take notice of his bootleg records in 2001 under the name of Girls On Top. But in 2002 he became the mighty X as we know him, and we know him as one of the greatest record producers and general music geniuses of our time, who also every now and then decides to write some of the greatest pop songs of the past few years. One look at his resume of collaborators and remixes is evidence, X has worked with New Order, M.I.A., Depeche Mode, Kelis and Jarvis Cocker to name just a few.

What's more, he's been assigned as Lieutenant X of British Pop, fighting right on the front line to do his best to make pop music brilliant again, providing Javine with what is easily the best song of her 'career' ('You Used To'), saving Rachel Stevens' career with 'Some Girls' (something he may later do again if 'Crazy Boys' gets a release) and being the genius behind two of Annie's best songs, 'Chewing Gum' and 'Me Plus One'. Under the pseudonym of Girls On Top he released 'mash ups' of TLC Vs Human League 'Being Scrubbed' and Adina Howard Vs Tubeway Army 'We Don't Give A Damn About Our Friends'. The latter went on to inspire/influence/be reworked into X's first 'hit', 'Freak Like Me', which he'd scored Vs the (then) new look Sugababes, and seemed to also relaunch their career after depressing chartings for 'Soul Sound' and 'Run For Cover' with 'Freak Like Me' going straight to number one.

None of X's work can be taken on face value as straight forward. For instance, X's 2003 album 'Richard X Presents His X Factor vol. 1' is a luscious, layered masterpiece laden with track after track of top-knotch guest appearances and 80's samples. In short, 'X Factor vol. 1' acts not only as a brilliantly refreshing and consistent debut album but also as a pastiche of the 80's new romantics and electro musical movements (sampling Jam & Lewis, Spandau Ballet, Human League and Gary Numan). Released in 2003, X's album also came reasonably near the beginning of the recent electro revival, and is as fitting an introduction as Goldfrapp's 'Supernature' is a conclusion and remains one of the greatest forgotten pop gems of all time. But, with his inclusion into our hall of fame, I'd like to think that his album will be granted just a little bit of the immortality it deserves.

Download a smidgen of immorality for free, then buy the whole album at full price:
Richard X ft. Tiga - You (Better Let Me Love You x4) Tonight

Get In The Queue...

Pop Boy. Girls Aloud. Birmingham NIA. May 26th. Block D, Row E.

It's a date!



And I've only bought one ticket to save the debacle of last year's attempt to sell my spare ticket at the last minute happening all over again.

New Releases 7th November 2005

Madonna - Hung Up

IG: Well? What more do you expect us to say of this record?!? We’ve had Pop Boy’s reviews and if you scroll down a little you will see my opinions of Madge’s entire new album! What more do you want from us?!? Anyways, I love it. That’s all I’m saying.

PB: All rise and be upstanding for the Queen Of Pop. And Madonna is more so the Queen Of Pop than ever with this ABBA sampling, discotastic, seemingly flawless splice of mega 21st Century Pop that, if it were an animal would be a very happy gay snake that was slithering all over the dance floor, spinning around aimlessly whilst high on poppers. I really do hope that this acts as a sort of call to arms to music makers all over the world. Pop was alive afterall, it’s just Rachel Stevens and Robbie Williams have had it in a strangle hold. Anyone who says that pop is dead with this meteoric single about to literally blow the whole world up is just stupid! If you haven’t already played the ‘Hung Up’ game, scroll down and make sure you do so.

Son Of Dork - Ticket Outta Loserville

IG: We will review this because a few of you may have discounted it after hearing the band’s extremely crap name ‘Son Of Dork’ and the others who thought ‘Son Of Dork’ was forgivable for may then have not bothered with it when they heard then the rubbish name of the song. But hey, I think you have to give it a chance. The record company’s description of it, well, it is not. (Son of Dork were described as a cross between Busted and Green Day, but seem to end up sounding like neither and more like Bowling For Soup.) But! It is quirky with the occasional little funny lyric here and there and if you love any type of pop punk then you will moderately enjoy this. My main bone to pick though… JAMES! YOU ARE NOT AMERICAN! STOP PRETENDING! Christ on a bike. It just gets on my nerves so much. You are from Southend-On-Sea not San Diego! And most normal high schools here don’t have an American football team with cheerleaders and all of that! Just stop it! I mean… it’s just getting silly.

PB: James Busted said he’d be back. And he is. It’s just a shame he’s forgotten he’s not twelve. It’s also a shame he’s forgotten that he’s not from California. Seriously, James ruined Busted’s entire second album with his faux-Cal whine and here he and his new cohorts still seem to think it’s cool. But underneath the vocals this song is still hideously average, and lyrics are awful (referencing Groundhog Day and Star Trek). It all makes you wonder why we ever thought Busted were so brilliant. Because we did, didn’t we. C’mon own up. Despite being awful and hideous, it’s STILL better than The Chiefs, which must be some kind of consolation I’m sure.

Kaiser Chiefs - Modern Way

IG: This is a nice change from hearing ‘I Predict A Riot’ on the radio every five minutes (it is a fantastic song but god, I was getting so fed up with it) and is one of the better tracks on the album but one problem, it’s a tiny bit low key. I mean, after the manic indie-pop perfection that the Kaisers have previously released this all seems very calm. I’m not saying I don’t like this song, but it really isn’t in keeping with the Kaiser theme. I can imagine everyone getting completely knackered bopping around to all the other “anthems” that the band have released as singles and then playing this and feeling quite bored. Get the album instead of buying the single.

PB: This ladies and gentlemen is what it sounds like when British biggest, most energetic band gets complacent. ‘Modern Way’ just mopes around feeling sorry for itself wishing it were ‘Oh My God’ or ‘I Predict A Riot’. Which from first listen it clearly isn’t. Kaisers have dropped their fun boy music that you can dance to and now it becomes clear just how bad Ricky Wilson really is when all the charisma and broken legged jumps are taken away, both vocally and lyrically. From the bad two thirds of the album ‘Employment’.

Jamiroquai - (Don't) Give Hate A Chance

IG: I can’t decide whether I love or hate this song. It’s so discofied in a good way but there is something about this song that really annoys me. I love the beats so I’m thinking perhaps it’s Jay Kay’s vocals (which I have never been fond of to be honest) but the whole song sounding like a polished version of something from the 70s makes me love it. Gah! This is severely annoying me.

PB: Here’s the third single off Jamiroquai’s recent album ‘Dynamite’, which, on an unrelated is absolute dynamite (ha!) consistent and danceable throughout and a must-have for all pop lovers. Following ‘Feels Just Like It Should’ and ‘Seven Days’ Jay Kay gives us yet another (reasonably) different song. And this one is going to save the world. And you can dance to it. Band Aid can stick that up their arses. And the people in the video look like penises. Band Aid had Justin Hawkins and Busted. Jamiroquai’s new song – officially better than Band Aid.

Best & Worst?
IG: Best - Madge, Worst - Jamiroquai
PB: Best - Madge, Worst - Kaiser Chiefs

Time Goes By So Slowly

And why not occupy yourself with this A-M-A-Z-I-N-G Madonna 'Hung Up' game. I'm really not very good at it all. But it is very ace indeed.

And, when you get bored of that, play the Goldfrapp Pacman game here which is even harder. It's a good job it's raining, because nobody will want to leave the house now.

I would post my high scores but you'd all laugh and point at me. Pop Boy's little brothers (evil arch nemesises Rock-Brat and Eminem-Fan) have already tried and doubled my scores.

Then! If you're still bored you should download Gwen Stefani's new video 'Luxurious' here and complete a sort-of hat-trick of Pop Boy's favourite icons.

Madonna Leaks Even More

Ooh, someone’s going to get fired!

"What The Fuck Do You Think You're Doing?!?" indeed.

It seems that Madonna has leaked even more. Oh dear. She will not be a happy bunny but if she was to get off her backside and check out the reception on the internet instead of shutting sites down then she’d see that the album is being received warmly by most people.

Now, I will go through writing my opinions of each track as if someone a rat's arse what I actually think of this record.

The album opens with 2005’s disco anthem Hung Up. The radio edit does not do this song justice! The thumping build up sounds fantastic on your stereo on even your ipod. This moves into the eurodisco smoothness of Get Together.

Then! The best track of the whole frickin’ thing! This is Sorry and it is marvellous! And no Madge, we haven’t “heard it all before” and this is brilliance. And loned up to be the next single which I am ecstatic about.

Next we have the talking build up of Future Lovers until it blasts into your ears in all it’s glory. Then we blend into I Love New York which despite it’s atrocious lyrics (notably “other cities make me feel like a dork” and “just go to Texas, isn’t that where they golf?”) which some people have criticised and wrote off the song for, I think it’s wonderful!

Let It Will Be is the next track, which doesn’t stomp in your face but boogies along at a slower and smoother pace. Another interesting slower track next with Forbidden Love. Which is not as manic as the other songs it’s placed with.

Jump is the next track and many have called this the best of the entire album (which I disagree with) but it doesn’t stop it being a 3.46 long gathering of pure pop loveliness. I think that sums that one up completely.

How High follows on from this and I must admit I’m not impressed. I get bored listening to this track and it seems highly unimaginative and quite boring. This is followed by the oddball track of the album… religious chants and electro disco in juxtaposition? Who the hell would’ve thought it would work? I think Madonna keeping this track rather calm makes it work. Issac being a stomper could have killed the track.

The last two tracks are yet to make an impression on me. I’m fairly exhausted after listening to the madness that is ‘Confessions On A Dancefloor’ so I will have to listen more.

Overall, "Confessions" is poptastic, gay club heaven. And listening to it gives me wondrous feelings of standing in the middle of Times Square, New York City, madness surrounding me and hearing this album pumping into my ears. It gives an exhilarating city feel and I like it.

PS: I have no idea what Pop Boy thinks of it because he can’t form an opinion as he is being a good little pop boy and refusing to download it. Madge would be proud dear. Expect a review from him around November 14th...

Now, who’s going to ‘confess’ to downloading it?

[PB:- If you want a sneaky download to 'Push' to wet your appetite, Jessica has posted it here. I am still resisting. That is all.]

MTV + Award Ceremony = Hell.

Indie Girl is currently watching the MTV Europe Music Awards because there’s nowt else on the television. And because our gods are up for one award. Yes, Goldfrapp are up for award. Not all MTV awards ceremonies have gone to shit it seems.

Normally I will avoid MTV like the plague whenever one of there, what seems like hundreds of award ceremonies are on, but i’m incredibly bored and there’s nothing else to do (apart from my revision for my exams, but that’s another story.)

Anyway, if you can’t be bothered to watch the show to find out who are the winners (and endure what promises to be a fabulous performance from the Pussycat Dolls, "the singing prostitutes" according to the show's presenter Borat) then I guess you can check out the website afterwards.

But hey, you are missing the rare opportunity (from the performances) to actually hear music being played on MTV. You’re missing history! (and a frankly dismal awards show)

And if all you want to see is what Goldfrapp are wearing, Indie Girl has a pic* so you don’t have to go near MTV tonight. Hurrah! Loving the tie Mr Gregory.

*I apologise for the gettyimages tag, but let's face it... i'm not exactly professional and I just nicked it from a messageboard.

Want.

Look! It's Girls Aloud's new album cover! Look at Cheryl! Look at her! Just look! Even I would, and I'm a great big dirty gay. And Nicola's in the middle (still at the back though). Someone over on PopJustice said it looked like a Loreal ad campaign, and they are so right, it does. Especially with Nadine "covers 99% of greys" Coyle going all blondified. It also looks a lot like the kind of cover Atomic Kitten would have. Which is just a little bit worrying.

But Cheryl seriously. Wow! She scrubs up nicely don't she? She's like something from the sixties.

This album had better be brilliant now.

Blunt(s) Of The Week

This week... Westlife!There's only been two blunt of the week 'awards' given out and already it feels as though these boys have had one coming for a good few months.

But their fate was sealed Sunday Night when they became number one AGAIN! With yet another rubbishey cover version funeral song.

Normally, a well groomed boy band wearing suits would get a big thumbs up from me because, well, being smartly-dressed is ace. However, I still can't think of one single nice thing to say about this band other than possibly "well, at least they didn't ruin this song as much as they ruined the last one". Even the suits look cheap.

And now, I'm going to try (not very hard at all) to convince you that they are blunts of the highest order. Firstly they've had 17 singles out. Twelve of those have gone to number one. Which is pretty impressive, let's be honest. Four of those have been covers. And that's four too many. Surely you'd take a hint when people said you'd ruined a Barry Manilow song and just give up singing or better yet, just stop breathing. If I'm honest, I think they crossed a line when then covered ABBA, who do they fucking think they are? The A*Teens? Ha! They wish.

I understand of course that no version of Josh Groban's 'You Raise Me Up' was ever going to be euphoric or danceable (prove me wrong 'Loife) but the 'Loife could've at least tried to put some amount of emotion into their vocals that might have transformed the 'song' from a monotone drone to an actual song.

Everyone outside of the Westlife's murderously loyal fan base knows full well that Westlife have little to no relevance to music 2005 and they are still bashing out (at best) mediocre pop ballads like it's 1999. I'm all for keeping it old skool, but I think it's much more of a case of laziness than some ironic self-parody. And even if it is, no-one's laughing. Louis Walsh/the people in charge of X Factor's insistance on playing the song at every opportunity throughout the show and as many of the acts performing Westlife songs as possible is NOT subtle but effective marketing. It's a disgustingly obvious attempt to sell records and make 'Loife relevant. Stop! Now! They're not relevant. Even now they've got a gay one, they're still not relevant to today's music scene (irrelevant and about 18 months late on that trend to cause any controversy or interest at all).

Westlife are releasing a Christmas single duet with Diana Ross, and in doing so will tarnish her reputation. I've heard it, and it does make me want to cry (and no, I'm not caught up in the emotion and beauty of all, they were tears of pain). Christmas is ruined.

New Releases 31st October 2005

The Kills - No Wow

PB: At last! The Kills are releasing this song as a single. The song follows what seems to be the biggest pop trend of 2005 – Horses! (see ‘I Said Never Again (But Here We Are)’, ‘Oh La La’ and Madonna). This song canters along slowly and timidly, but you get the feeling it could burst into a full blown gallop at any moment. Then halfway through the bass hits! But it still canters, it just canters a bit louder than before. Then towards the end we hear guitars properly and the song begins to actually resemble a proper song and this horse starts to gallop. But that’s not all. It’s a show horse. And what a show.
If this song were an animal it would be: a horse. Clip-Clop!

IG: Not really a wow for me either I’m afraid. For me this a bit of a letdown of a track compared to The Kills earlier offerings (my favourite being “The Good Ones”) This track seems boring in comparison. The track continues to build up and build up and build up for so long that I get bored. And even when the songs reaches it’s “climax” I am still not enthralled. I think it is a good thing however, that The Kills are retunring to the charts. As they are good, just not here.

Unfortunately, I have not got animals to compare the songs to, or anything else in a matter of fact. Ho hum.

Patrick Wolf - Tristan

PB: In the second At Last! Moment of the week Patrick Wolf releases the ever so epic and mighty ‘Tristan’, one the bestest but leastest sounding like Patrick Wolf song on the whole of his brilliant album ‘Wind In The Wires’. Patrick lives up to his name on this track by both literally and metaphorically growling with debauchery, lust and promiscuity. I once kissed a boy called Tristan who was debauchered, lustful and promiscuous. And he was alive. This is of course the vital point of the whole song. And if that beat doesn’t getting you tapping your foot or nodding your head even a little bit then you are made of stronger stuff than me.
If this were an animal it would be: a wolf. Growl!

IG: Oh my fucking god, oh my fucking god. Oh excuse me there, but I think I may have just experienced a bit of a musical orgasm. Forever and ever I have been hearing this name mentioned everywhere I go. I hear Popjustice boardies bigging Patrick up all the bloody time on every thread that mentions a singer-songwriter and did I bother taking action? No. Until now when Pop Boy suggested this track for reviewing. I got a hold of it and on first listen. Wow. I mean. Wow! Why did I never listen to this man before? Why did I never take notice?!? And after listening to Tristan and fellow album track The Libertine (also from Patrick’s critically acclaimed second album), I am now planning on buying “Wind In The Wires” and if I have money I’ll stretch to his first album as well. I just need more Patrick and I need it now!

Goldfrapp - Number 1

PB: This is Indie Girl and Pop Boy’s national anthem, our theme tune as it were. Goldfrapp are our favourite band and if they aren’t already they’ll soon be yours. The moaning, longing synths seem to sinew beneath brilliant lyrics (“I’m like a dog to get you”) which are hard to decipher as sentimental and lovely or lustful and horny, which really, is how everything should be. The Frapp appear to take every little thing we were ever taught about what makes great electro music by Ultravox, Gary Numan, Visage and New Order, roll it all up into just one song (well, actually into a album as well, it’s called ‘Supernature’. Buy it!) and create what is quite modestly the greatest electro song of this whole drawn out electro-revival (yes! Even better than ‘One Word’, ‘Pop!ular’ and ‘Negotiate With Love’!!). A message to all writers, producers and popstars: STOP THE ELECTRO REVIVAL! It just peaked. You are all out of jobs. Ha! Ha! Goldfrapp have stomped you down like the genius Godzillas of music that they are. Ha! Ha! Ha! Anyway, onto Darren Hayes….
If this song were an animal it would be: a big fucking robot Alsatian that would eat all your asses. Woof! Bleep!

IG: Frapp! Glorious Frapp! Electro and doggy dancers! Ah yes, our gods have returned. All hail Alison and Will back with the second track from one of my favourite albums of the year, “Supernature.” Oh, and what a return it is! The lyrics... sexy and animalistic whilst still being quiet and lusty. Accompanied by that catchy electronic thump guiding us along. Just perfection. It doesn’t get better than this. Fuck all the wannabes. This is the holy grail and I like it. A lot. BUY IT! (or we’ll set the dogs on you.)

Darren Hayes - So Beautiful

PB: Completing a hat-trick of At Last! moments this week, Darren Hayes has got a new single out. Not that you’d know. I don’t think I’ve heard this song on the radio or seen the video once. It’s like ‘Pop!ular’ all over again. And it really is, because yet another great Hayes song is being washed down the gutters of pop to be almost totally forgotten. Without meaning to sound horrid and cliché, I can quite honestly say that the sentiment that’s dripping like honey from a fork from this song’s lyrics really is so beautiful. Ok, yes, that was bad. But the song isn’t. Let’s round this up. Nice song, but I think you should let people hear it Darren. Everyone else, buy the Savage Garden greatest hits package for yourself (or your mum) this Christmas.
At least I didn’t refer to Darren’s Australian-ness, or try to be all clever by referring to Savage Garden song titles. That would be immature and juvenile.
If this were an ‘Animal Song’ that animal would be: a big cuddly koala bear, mate. D’oh!

IG: Meh. I really don’t rate this. A damp squib of a song. Perhaps it just sounds crap next to the genius of Goldfrapp and Patrick Wolf or dull next to the amazingly campy and fabulous “Popular” or the old favourites from Savage Garden, particularly my favourite “I Want You” but this track is poor Darren. Poor. It’s sounds like middle of the range pop and I definitely think Mr Hayes can do better. Tut tut.

Best & Worst?
PB: Best - Goldfrapp, Worst - Everything else. EVER! In the history of the whole entire world!
IG: Best - Goldfrapp, Worst - Darren Hayes (only a crumb of genius compared to Goldfrapp's whole rich gateaux)